chrysanths | yves / turboheaven pc

Yves.

[ Adolphe understands the reasoning. But. ]

You should be able to choose regardless of our decisions.

[ He wants to say that there are other people here that he could get close to, but that's Yves. He's friendly to everyone. He's nice to everyone. He's seen it for himself when he saw Yves get attracted to Ceres more and more. The level of devotion--he's seen it. It could be for someone else. It feels... wrong to keep some of that for his wishy-washy self. ]

... Take some time to think on it.

[ a little quirk of a smile ]

You know, Adolphe... Monsieur Lucas and I actually talked about this yesterday. We weren't quite on track, but we thought maybe we could become angels because of the halos. And then he asked me if I'd want to go through the trials to become an angel, or stay a human ghost.

And even then, I said that I'd probably stay a human ghost—because I thought it'd be what you and Monsieur Lucas would choose.

[ to stay human with their loved ones, because yves thought adolphe would want to be with ceres and lucas would want to be with nadia ]

So... I can take time to think on it. Like I hope you take time to think without worrying about my answer, too.

But if I do, and our choices line up, and I choose I still want the option where I might get to be with you... you have to let me.

... I will.

[ Because by then, he believes it's Yves's informed choice and that's what Adolphe wants for him. ]

I actually don't have a choice that I would immediately pick over the other, so I'll also think on it. Coming back to life... I personally don't like whoever thought about it.

[ But that's just him, and he knows it. None of this reliver stuff, resurrection, and more. ]

I think... it's a choice that makes sense for other people. Some younger people, especially.

[ even if it'd just send yves careening right into a bad end ]

To be honest, I was hoping for reincarnation... or some version of events where you get to... start over clean.

[ and it's a small gesture, as if he doesn't like actively drawing attention to it even around adolphe, but his fingers lightly and quickly trace over the vague shape of his mask.

crazy that even in heaven, he's still scarred ]

[ freaking crazy indeed. hey, heaven. you healed everyone's death wounds but not yves's perpetual burn?? hello??? Adolphe follows the movements of Yves's fingers and then glances away. It feels too much to have his eyes linger on it. It's a disservice, he thinks. He feels as if anything he says will sound empty. Yves doesn't deserve that.

Adolphe doesn't feel like he's good at anything useful!!! AAAAAAaaaaaaa ]

But you wouldn't be you after you reincarnate, right? You wouldn't be "Yves".

[ NOOOOOOO SWEET ADOLPHE YOU'RE SO PERFECT

alas yves doesn't really know what the internal dialogue here is - he just assumes adolphe doesn't want to be reminded that he's friends with a super gross disfigured person, same as anyone else. yves your complex ]

.... maybe not. And I'd be sad to lose all my memories of you, and all my friends. Or having to live that life without you, if you don't get to be reincarnated with me.

[ but? ]

But I think I'd also be sad to never be loved.

[ and it's only because it's adolphe that he can admit his selfish, selfish truth out loud ]

[ YVES!!!! YOU FOOL!!!! ]

But you can still be loved despite that, Yves. It happened. I've seen it.

[ Adolphe had seen the love blossom between Ceres and Yves. There's also friendship love too! But admitting that would sound weird right now! So Adolphe doesn't say it. Come back during affection week maybe. ]

There are people who will see past that and love you for who you are.

[ well

maybe he should've been able to guess this since it's not like adolphe would've trusted ceres to someone she didn't love too but for some reason, yves' brain never quite finished computing it

so instead his head just snaps up and he looks at adolphe in shock ]

Someone loved me?

Really?

Yeah.

[ He says sternly, so seriously. ]

I... fought for the chance of the two to meet again.

[ . . . everything clicks, slowly but surely, finally. a little belatedly. sometimes your brain is just so wired to think that you can't be loved after years of heartbreak.

but...

well, he hugged adolphe upon arrival, but he's going to do it again now even without affection week. ]

... thank you. For doing that for me, even if it's not... this me. [ even if he doesn't remember, and he probably would've also gone ballistic upon losing adolphe ]

But I'm sure he'd want to say the same thing to you, so I'll do it in his place.

[ Oh. Adolphe lets Yves hug him. Again, he doesn't quite return the hug, but he does lightly pat his back. Yves hasn't changed--apart from subtle changes in appearance, he still feels like the same Yves he knows, so Adolphe will treat him as such. ]

Yves, you deserved it. I fully believed that you did--and I still do. You deserve someone loving you as much as you love them. Besides, there are people here. They seem... nice [ which is more than what adolphe can say for regular strangers ] if not weird.

[ And destructive. ]

... When things get too much, you can come to me or Lucas.

[ well... it's nice to hear it. that he deserves love. when it feels like his life has been long testimony to the contrary. he gives adolphe one more squeeze before he lets go again, and laughs a little ]

Don't tempt me too much... but I will. Rely on me too though, okay?

I feel like I'm always looking to you, Adolphe, but... You've been through hard things too. [ to have died for yves and ceres' sake. it's a lot for him to think about, and it fills his heart with affection and dread in equal measure. he can't keep losing adolphe. ] Your life matters a lot more than what you can sacrifice.

... We've both been through hard things and I can say the same to you too, you know.

[ Regarding the "mattering more than what you can sacrifice" part. He seems to think it over some more. Just a little pensive. ]

Everyone always relies on you--just like what they did with Courrune. You really want more to add onto that?

[ looks just a little confused? ]

Of course. If it's you, then the answer's always of course.

[ there's a small pause, because adolphe knows him better than most. knows how hungry he is for love and so sometimes the things he says can be confused for sweet talk. he doesn't want this to be one of those moments ]

... I really mean it. I try to love everyone, Adolphe, but I've known and loved you more for longer. [ he says the word so easily, doesn't shrink back from it ] So please depend on me.

I've depended on you so many times, Yves. Perhaps you think of it as natural things, but I did depend on you more times than I could count.

[ They probably had so many moments in Corps in which Adolphe depended on Yves to have his back in numerous ways. The ever reliable Yves. ]

This sort of place is pretty hard to navigate around and make sense of. You're already doing a lot for me right now too.

[ well.... yes. maybe this is true. yves shows up so automatically for people that he doesn't really think about it...

but the thing about adolphe is that yves believes him so easily. it quiets his heart a little bit to hear these assurances, as long as that's the case. ]

... okay. Well, we're probably going to need to flounder around together a little bit more, but... I'm sure it's nothing we can't handle.

Of all things, that's definitely something we can handle.

[ He agrees readily. I keep thinking Yves is trying to seduce someone in that icon ]

yves / turboheaven pc

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