chrysanths | yves / turboheaven pc

[ ah. blinks and tilts his head ]

Hm?

Why are you so shocked? Sorry to say, but Elysia can find better suitors who can understand her. I can't, so I'm already out of the running. Didn't she mention that as a criteria before or something?

[ He just handwaves. ]

[ okay

it's his turn to just gently cup adolphe's face in his hands and just

just fucking pull on his cheeks my gOD ]

You don't get to just say one of the most heartstoppingly romantic things I've ever heard in my life and then say you don't understand Ellie. You know she wrote to me that she's let you further into her heart? Stop being obtuse just because you don't see everything amazing about yourself that is so obvious to everyone else.

If you don't have feelings for her, truly, okay. But if you're getting in your own way, as your best friend, I can't allow that.

If someone loves you, just let them.

[ Ow?? Adolphe tries to shake his head to get Yves's hands off his face. If that doesn't work, he tries to pry them off with his own hands. ]

What do you think I've been doing all this time?!

[ adolphe can take his hands with his own hands then!! he just huffs and wiggles his fingers menacingly ]

I can't tell!! You never told me anything about your relationships in your letters! Sometimes I hear more about you from other people!

And sometimes I can't tell if you're getting in your own head about something and not letting yourself bask in something good you deserve!

[ Adolphe pauses and just stares at Yves. The first point? That's fine. That's just Adolphe being Adolphe. He doesn't want to talk about himself, especially since the last several weeks were him becoming slowly unhinged and just going "I'm fine" to people who couldn't see him personally.

But the second point? Oh. Oh boy. ]

I'll do that when you start letting yourself do the same.

I've done plenty of growing. I know that people care about me and I'm trying not to make them sad, even if I messed that up in the end.

[ huffs ]

I am trying.

[ ................................

Okay. Fine. He can't deny that. There's nothing to refute. But then the point goes back to him not letting himself get the good things that he deserves.

And there's a small crack that Adolphe hears--somewhere, someplace. It's the tiniest little line, jagged along something that's meant to eventually break. Adolphe looks lost for a moment before he opens his mouth to speak with a small voice: ]

... Then what do you want me to do?

[ oh you are such a little guy

yves was telling someone recently about how adolphe is so stable and steady for him all the time, but is surprisingly fragile himself. he reaches out automatically again when that small voice comes and pulls adolphe close once more, forcing him into an embrace where yves is the one who cradles him close this time. ]

I know you're trying. [ softly ] And I know it must be hard when you've had to spend so long protecting yourself and never knowing when someplace would stop being safe.

[ when he'd be trapped on an island that wanted to hunt him. yves found out about his drifter lineage weeks ago and he thought about that too—how scary it must've been to be so lonesome and long-lived. thinking about that for adolphe also makes his heart break. ]

But... you don't have to be scared to hope for something good anymore. There are people who care about you, and it's okay to believe it.

There are people who love you, and it's still okay to believe it. You can relax and be happy. I'm here. I've got you, and I love you so, so much.

[ Adolphe really wants to believe in those words one day. Sometimes, he wants to reach out and internalize it for himself--that there are people who genuinely care about him and that it's okay to believe. He's been doing well with a few people. He knows Ceres does. Yves does too. And a few more. He can't deny their feelings about him--the way they care about him, even though he tries rebuffing them constantly. Still, Adolphe wants to believe so badly that it's fine to think of such things. He doesn't trust many people, but he trusts Yves.

But as if on cue, a memory plays on the reflective surface on the ground, off a small puddle as if to drag him back. He's not allowed to think of such things. He doesn't deserve it. He should die miserable and alone.

That it would have been great if he was never born at all.

What are you worth if the ones who brought you into this world deemed that you have no value whatsoever?

Adolphe buries his face into Yves's shoulder again, and almost claws the clothes on his back from how tightly he holds onto them. ]

[ ah.

it is one thing to know this from what adolphe told him. it's another to see it reflected and heard through a surface which is apparently something that happens in the graveyard. why not. but what's most important is that yves will hold adolphe back just as tightly, hand coming up to rest at his hair as he processes what he just experienced and.

it's a little desperate how quick he is to refute these horrible, horrible lingering thoughts. ]

I need you. [ so quickly, but also so obviously after so long without him ] I want you. I love you.

[ insistent and emotional, like he needs adolphe to truly hear what he's saying. ]

Adolphe... [ fingers carding through adolphe's hair in slow, measured strokes to try to soothe him, even though yves' own heartbeat has accelerated for the way that he's gotten upset knowing what his best friend lived through for so long. softly: ] It's not okay that you went through that. And you're right that your parents are awful.

[ yves never talks shit about anyone but the fact that this is literally one situation where he can't forgive says enough he thinks!! ]

So if they're so awful... don't believe them. Just believe me. [ a little pleading, even as he tucks his face against the side of adolphe's head ] Please.

[ Yeah!! Welcome to the graveyard! We have permanent memshares! It drove Adolphe insane!! It was hell every time he was near a reflective surface of any kind. ]

It's not like I... want to...

[ His voice trails off, but he still stays in the moment. Man. He's so tired already. But He needs him. He wants him. He loves him. Adolpbe shakily breathes out, still burying his face into his shoulder. ]

... I want to believe you. I really do. If it's you, I want to believe that I will. Eventually.

[ ADOLPHE YOU ARE THE BABIEST!!!!! yves just clings that much more onto adolphe, clutching onto him and nuzzling into the side of his head for every single display of affection he can think to offer. ]

I know, I know.... I wish it's something I could take away from you in an instant, with a snap of my fingers. But since it's not, I'll stay with you. For as long as it takes.

[ to let go of these fears, to start really believing. yves presses a kiss to adolphe's hair automatically, even as he gives him a little squeeze ]

So... eventually. Eventually you'll believe me when I say that I feel like my life falls apart without you. And that after all these weeks, I made plenty of friends, but I still missed you every second. You're irreplaceable to me, Adolphe. I'm so happy I met you, and I'm so devastated every time we're apart.

That's how much you mean to me.

[ Let him have this emotional vulnerability he hasn't had it with Yves in weeks.

Adolphe is so confused. Yves says all that, but he always roots for someone else to be by his side. He doesn't understand.... ]

... I do believe you about that, at least.

[ He grumbles ]

[ yes

yes he does do that

because he doesn't think that adolphe is in love with him there's just so much going on that's so stupid it's the funniest thing in the world.

but the little grumble pulls a smile out of yves even as he just continues to keep adolphe as close as possible. at least it's clear enough to hear in his voice ]

Then the rest will come in time.

[ and now it's his turn to be the assured and confident one ]

[ Everything is stupid forever. ]

... Mm. Alright.

[ He closes his eyes and rest a little against Yves. ]

I'm just... really tired of the things that keep happening here. I lost it last week and killed Hawke.

[ that's fine. yves will just happily hold onto adolphe. one of his hands comes up just to run through his hair affectionately ]

Ah... He did send me a letter about you having a temper...

[ he

really did not have context ]

What happened...?

I snapped.

[ Yeah. That's about it. ]

I hurt several people in the process because they tried to calm me down too.

[ adolphe.... he just frowns and the arm that's still around adolphe just squeezes him a bit tighter ]

Last week must've been overwhelming...

I'm sorry it felt like so much... I'm sorry I was so far.

[ he's not sure if he could've helped entirely but yves at least has absolutely no concerns about facing adolphe head on in a fight ]

[ Yeah what could possibly go wrong!! ]

It was the reflection nonsense along with assimilating emotions. It was hard to feel like myself, or if anything was really mine... what I felt was disorienting. I hated it. Nothing felt like mine.

[ He had an existential crisis. Sucks. ]

[ this is quite literally how a normal man can become an ankou

but yves just nuzzles affectionately into adolphe's hair even though he just said he killed a man and injured multiple of their friends. sometimes you have a psychotic break, babygirl. sometimes that happens ]

Mm.... It can be hard to stay grounded, when you're always getting swept up in others' feelings and memories. Having both sounds like a nightmare.

But... you're you. You're Adolphe, and you're here now. With me.

Mm.

[ He still buries his face into his shoulder. ]

I'm here, with you. ... and I'm glad.

[ He doesn't like how he had to die to get here, but he can't deny the relief he feels when Yves is right here with him. ]

[ you know i said it jokingly in my last tag and i never really understood the trend of calling grown men babygirl until

now

i understand it right now

yves will just give adolphe a squeeze then, as if that'll help cement him in the moment ]

... me, too. I wanted to be with you, too. The whole time.

[ and that's his selfish little admission. he survived all those weeks because he was trying so hard to be reasonable, but more than once he entertained the idea of leaving it all behind just so adolphe wouldn't have to be alone ]

Edited 2025-03-23 20:23 (UTC)

[ CHSKXJCHSKFJ one day I will also understand it

Yves really makes him feel wanted. It's the best feeling, but at the same time, he's a little scared to get used to it. It's a revelation that he's had ever since he came to heaven. He gets complacent, and look what happened. He took Yves's sincerity for granted. He was disappointed and remembered why he hated people so much.

He doesn't say anything, but just rests against Yves. ]

[ DID HAWKE JUST REMIND ADOLPHE HOW MUCH HE HATES PEOPLE? WHO DID THIS TO MY ADOLPHE

but yves will just accept his weight willingly, settling for running his fingers through adolphe's hair while he settles. after a few minutes in silence, he'll just gently press his nose into adolphe's cheek ]

... okay?

[ he still

has to tell adolphe who killed him ]

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